Saturday, January 9, 2010

you've heard all of this before. or read it all before. or DREAMT it all before. "dreamt" is a word, right? ohhh boy.

Oh, Facebook. Thank you for being a constant reminder of my past.

Today while "logged on" (as the tweens would say), I came across photos of gals from my cohort in the education program. They are in their final semester of school, which means they are student teaching and will most likely be elementary teachers in the fall of this year. That came quickly. If I would have stuck with the program, I would be in a school right now teaching a bunch of snotty nosed tweens. This morning while I reflected on this and the choice I made to quit, I felt a TINY bit sad. Maybe not even sad. Curious? Regretful? I had worked so hard to get into the program, but then I became a little bit discouraged and left. Was it the right decision?

Then I remembered how out of place I felt among my peers. They were all women (except for the big black guy who was pretty awesome) and very... Utah county. I know I have written about this before, so I need not go into much detail. Basically, I never felt accepted or appreciated. My "talents" went unrecognized and I wanted to tell them all, "HEY! I am actually a pretty smart and funny gal! Just because I don't like Kenny Chesney or have a giraffe print purse doesn't make me a failure!"

I remembered how much has happened since I left the program and went back to English. So much happened. If I stayed in the program, I might have never dated Jack, worked on the paper or Touchstones, gotten a poem published, reconnected with and met some very intriguing professors, gotten involved with the Animal Alliance Club, made some rad ass zines for the Beat class, become friends with Najib or Rob or Whitney or Jennifer or anyone connected with the paper, etc. A tidal wave of things happened since leaving the program. And most of them were positive. All of them were life changing. I wouldn't change a thing.

I think I still have an interest in elementary education. Maybe one day I will go back when I am more at peace with myself and want to "settle down." As for now, I am at peace with where I am and the choices I have made. This post is kind of boring. See ya.

3 comments:

Jennifer said...

Soooo glad we became friends! I LOVE YOU!

Trish Griffee said...

I think you would be an inspiring teacher. And Kenny Chesney and animal print bags are lame.

meg said...

Thanks to both of you-- your comments mean a lot!