UVU is no longer a school, but a business. Really. Go to the bookstore. They sell Sex and the City DVDs, but no Tolstoys. Congrats, education.

I apologize for beginning my last post with an offensive word. To me, however, it is not offensive if used correctly. Or even used incorrectly. Basically, there is nothing offensive to me about the word. The only words I find offensive are the ones written by Alaskan rogues. And even then they are more humorous than offensive.

So, school. Great. There goes my lazy days of Dostoevsky reading and half a can of Rockstar drinking and here comes my busy days of literary theorizing and double Rockstar drinking (and 24 ounce coffee drinking and Dollar Tree energy shot drinking and drinking in general). Oh, and the paper. Here comes last minute planning and stressing and awkward run-ins that leave me running to the bathroom to cry alone in a stall. But it doesn't have to be this way, right? Right. I swear I am going to plan out each issue of The V at least a day before the Monday meeting. I SWEAR. I am also going to swear more in The V. You know, like saying things such as, "Utah Valley is the dope shit, motherfucker" and "Fool, you best believe we bring you the most bitchin' shit in the damn Valley each week." Things like that.

I don't want any major panic attacks this semester. I don't actually want to abuse Rockstars, coffee, energy shots, or any other stimulants. I want to stay on task and keep a planner (ha). I want to give Jing Dong a hug. I want to vote for Team Engaged. I want to be done already, basically.

Anyway, I effin' love you. Have a beautiful day.