scuba

I dwell on what could have been, what was missed, what never was.

He wants to take pictures of the Milky Way out in the desert. I decline. I want to sit home and deny myself of what I crave -- and I want to do it alone.

Is it company that I crave? I never would have thought. I miss being close with someone. I miss the trust that they will be readily available. Everyone seems so distant, myself especially.

There is an empty sea with so much underneath. The surface is just that -- the surface. I crave the caves, I crave what can only be reached by depth, by masks.