So I had some impulsive fun in my 20s, did I not? I did. I did way too much. "Hey, doc, will you prescribe me some IMPULSIVITY and FUN and BAD DECISIONS and an overall sense of IMMORTALITY?" And this metaphorical doc was, like, "Sure thing, doll."
Now I'm older. Yeah yeah yeah (still one of my favorite bands! you know what I'm talkin' about!), I am technically still in my 20s, but there is a vast valley between the early 20s and the late 20s. It is a terribly difficult transition because that prescription medication suddenly ceases to work. The impulsivity may still be there, but it is no longer followed (or driven) by fun or the comforting feeling of being imperishable. And those bad decisions? Those bad decisions tend to weigh much heavier on one's conscience and life, the repercussions more severe.
Where am I going with this? Like I know! I never know exactly where I'm going in any of my posts or IN MY LIFE! See what I did there? I don't see. Okay okay okay (still one of my favorite bands! kidding! not a band!), enough of this blah blah blah (stupid band). What I want to say is that I am ready to take care of someone. I'm exhausted from being stuck in this cycle of me me me (enough with the threes, Meg). I believe I do well when I am able to direct my attention towards making another human feel at least okay. Of course, it would be ideal if the person I am taking care of could also take care of me. I need to stop putting all of my energy into people who simply take without giving back.
Self-care. Self-care is where I'll start and then maybe the Universe will open my eyes and heart to everyone else around me. It's worth a shot.