Sunday, July 5, 2015


Look, I am an adult and that gives me the right to comment on the weather whenever I want. And I want. I want to say how lovely glorious calming inspiring soothing this rainy cloudy overcast (not in that order) day is. It is. I said it. I want it to stay like this forevvvvvver! But it will not (or it could! weird things happen all the time!), which is a good thing. If I don't have shitty sunny summer 4th of July days, then I'll never fully appreciate the opposite. And if there's one thing I wish to do in my life, it is to appreciate things not halfly. Fully all the way, kids. You are not kids. No kids read my blog. Do you allow your child to read my blog? If so, I would rethink your parenting skills. Kidding, let your kids do whatever the hell they want. Do not become a helicopter parent!

One of my least favorite things is when someone responds to a sincere question you have asked with "LOL." I hate it for two reasons. One, LOL is so dumb. Two, I do not fully or even halfly appreciate you making me feel like an idiot. I am not an idiot. If anything, you are the idiot for relying on LOL when you are well into your 30s. Think about it, bozo.

COFFEE is the explanation for my sudden edginess. Gonna take the edge off with a nice swig of whiskey. I joke (again again). But I guarantee that when I become a cattle farmer in Wyoming, I will take swigs of whiskey every 20 minutes or so. It's just the kind of life I will lead.

This morning I woke up brave and decided to begin the monumental task of cleaning the basement. All-in-all I was pretty productive, although my bravery faded a bit after finding four curled up spiders and one very alive earwig. But I did get to get rid of a bunch of junk I hoarded during two failed relationships. Or maybe three? Who's counting. (I only count spiders, not relationships.) It's as if I wasn't having my needs met in either relationship, so I ignored that and instead purchased a ton of shit almost every single day to be, like, "Hey! I am so lonely and frustrated and avoiding the inevitable crumbling of this shaky-from-the-start relationship, but I DID purchase a really cute leather bag and kitschy kitten lamp from Savers today. So, like, things are cool everything is alright nothing is wrong I will never die I am invincible we are stars we are tragic we are poets we smoke cigs out bathroom windows we will live forever here take my picture let's hang on hang on hang on."

Have I mentioned how good it feels to let things go?

I am letting go of a lot lately. I am letting go not only of spider-infested vintage leather bags and broken lamps, but I am letting go of expectations -- both for myself and for others. (I believe letting go of the impossibly high expectations I have for myself is the better of the two.) I am letting go of stubbornness. I am letting go of caffeine <--- JUST KIDDING NEVER!!! I am trying my hardest to let go of nostalgia because nostalgia wants nothing more than to seduce us and then reduce us to a shaving mess in the fetal position. I am letting go of hating where I am and learning to love the subtleties. I am letting myself feel again.

What are you letting go of today? What are you hanging on to? Do any of your attachments end up trapping you like a fly in a web? If so, maybe it's time to confront the spiders and clean out the basement. Hang in there.

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