Sunday, November 25, 2012

Tad and T. rex

I have been such a grumpysaurus lately. And I promise you that there is absolutely no better word to use than "grumpysaurus." Okay, there are probably a dozen times a million better words to use. And I promise you that there is such a thing as a dozen times a million. The answer is 12,000,000, goofballs. ("I'll take 12 million goofballs, sir. No, I don't need them gift wrapped today, but thanks for asking.")

Back to the grumpy dinosaur: Why the scowl, Ms. Meghan? You got me. Can I use the excuse that it's simply "that time of the month"? Nope. Nope, I cannot because I haven't had that time-of-the-month for several, several months. Goddammit, I'm not only grumpy, I'm also a Debbie Downer. Okay, dinosaurs. Concentrate. Maybe it's that time of the year? You know, when life hands you 12,000,000 holidays (well, 2) in the span of just a few weeks? The older I get, the harder holidays become. Is it because being an adult means consistent existential crises? Reevaluating everything and everyone in ones life? Being piss poor and alone and sexually frustrated? Sure, sure, sure. That sounds about right (except for the sexually frustrated part, at least for me -- ONLY because I'm fairly asexual these days (no, seriously) and don't care (really)).

This holiday season might be a tad rougher for me. ("Tad Rougher" sounds like a porn name.) Nothing incredibly terrible has happened, knock on wood. ("Knock on Wood" sounds like a porn flick staring Tad Rougher.) It's just those damn transitions. ("Did anyone here order a pizza?" asks Tad Rougher, who is also the pool boy.) Moving back and forth between my new home in Salt Lake and my old home in Orem, while always missing my childhood home in Pleasant Grove and searching for a permanent home (where that is, I'll never know) is emotionally exhausting. The various marriages and divorces also add to the feelings of confusion, groundlessness, and loss.

Now here comes the paragraph where I talk about how, despite all the rough patches, I am blessed-beyond-belief. And I am, I know I am. But I don't have it in me to type up that paragraph just yet. I'm too busy fighting my own personal T. rexes.

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