Monday, December 7, 2009

days of derangement, nights of passion!!!

The hours that remain keep punching me in the chest and forcing my head into a toilet while flushing over and over and over again.

Basically, the deadline for my Goshert paper is getting closer and it won't stop bullying me. Drowning in my own doubts everytime I start (or even think about) a paper sure wears a girl out.

And even though everyone else is swamped by stress, I sometimes feel like the only one-- like this whole college thing is a big elaborate plan by a group of sadistic individuals posing as professors to drive me into the hollow world of hysteria.

But then I realize I just bring this senselessness on myself. I could have prevented! I could have prevented! Can I still? In all seriousness, I do not know.

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