Monday, August 17, 2009

does the exterior mirror the interior?

One week ago, my world destroyed my world. I was heartbroken and heartsick. I was dependent on sleeping pills and Degrassi. My eyes, needless to say, were constantly red and puffy. But now a week has passed. And today was one of the most pleasant days I've had in a long time. Why? How is this possible? Can so much deep pain really vanish in just a mere 168 hours? It can't, right? Have my emotions been buried and supressed only to viciously return in the form of a total breakdown somewhere down the road? Have I build an 18 inch-thick steel wall around myself? Or was I not nearly as hurt as I thought I was/should have been? I am confused about my sudden dry and unswollen eyes. I am perplexed by my politeness. I am disconcerted by the disconnection with my despair. I am starting to feel like a foreigner instead of a warrior.


errin julkunen-pedersen said...

warrior woman, let's war together. degrassi will get you through the worst of anything, i'm pretty sure. i love you!

Elder Roxas said...

I know what this feels like. And it's very bewildering. If you're a sissy like me, this strangeness is so bewildering that it can be capable of sending you into another nervous cry.

But yay for Degrassi!

Chris Almond said...

Hi meg. Love you man. Sorry about everything.