Monday, August 17, 2009
does the exterior mirror the interior?
One week ago, my world destroyed my world. I was heartbroken and heartsick. I was dependent on sleeping pills and Degrassi. My eyes, needless to say, were constantly red and puffy. But now a week has passed. And today was one of the most pleasant days I've had in a long time. Why? How is this possible? Can so much deep pain really vanish in just a mere 168 hours? It can't, right? Have my emotions been buried and supressed only to viciously return in the form of a total breakdown somewhere down the road? Have I build an 18 inch-thick steel wall around myself? Or was I not nearly as hurt as I thought I was/should have been? I am confused about my sudden dry and unswollen eyes. I am perplexed by my politeness. I am disconcerted by the disconnection with my despair. I am starting to feel like a foreigner instead of a warrior.