Thursday, September 15, 2016


Guess which neurotic blogger just sat outside for a few golden minutes? If you guessed this neurotic blogger, you'd be mostly right except I don't consider myself a blogger. And I'm probably not as neurotic as I think. Or am I?!?! I don't know! I feel so unstable, unbalanced, maladjusted! Okay, kidding. For the most part. For the most part I feel fairly balanced these days, whatever "balanced" means. To me balanced means occasionally sitting outside instead of compulsively walking for hours. It means eating a burger for lunch instead of three trays of ice cubes. It means saying "okay sure fine I guess so" to a situation instead of a firm and unwavering "NO WAY NOT A CHANCE, BUD." It means learning to fill up the glass at least a little when it has been bone dry for decades. It means those things and probably more, which I'll have to discover on my own.

Today I have felt like a robot. I guess I have to feel like a robot in order to balance out the vibrant and totally alive version of me yesterday. I don't think I "have" to feel this way, though. I just do. And that's okay, so long as Robot Meg doesn't stay too long. I don't even want her to visit, necessarily. She can stop by and stand on the welcome mat for a few minutes, but that's it. I do not want any robots to feel too comfortable in whatever house this is that I occupy.

Ways to say goodbye to Robot Meg:
*Eat. I mean, come on. It's almost an instantaneous way to shoo any and all robots. You've tried it before and it worked marvelously. Keep trying it.
*Sleep. Copy/paste what I wrote about eating here.
*Stay hydrated. Go drink a glass of water. Now. Like, right now now. Not in-five-minutes now. Good job.
*Don't forget how vital it is for you to remain connected to and in awe of nature.
*In-person contact with persons, preferably persons you enjoy being around. Be around people. Occasionally. Hermits sometimes take on the shape of robots, FYI.

FYI, I gotta get back outside. My bones call for it. Thanks for listening.

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