matter

Here I am! Writing words again! Typing words. Typing out words that are ultimately meaningless, but being without meaning is not demeaning. I'm already off the a bad/excellent start. I can't tell if this will be a poor post that worries my mother and annoys my acquaintances or if it will be a poetic, slightly abstract post that will enrich everyone's lives forever and ever. And is it THAT or WHICH. I never know which one to use, but that doesn't matter. It only matters if you want it to matter, just like everything else.

Speaking of things (and places and maybe people) that matter, here are some of those things (and places and perhaps people) that (who) matter to me:

*Paul Auster. Not that I know Mr. Auster personally, but his books sure matter to me lately. The first time I read him was less than a month ago and since then I have read five other books of his. Yesterday I read an entire book by Paul and today I am 54 pages away from finishing another one of his books. Why do I like him so much? I dunno. I haven't even thought about that yet. I'm too busy devouring his words to form my own words up there in my head and down here on the screen. I'll think about it. Or I won't. I'll do one of the two, I promise.

*Good meals in good restaurants with good people and good conversation and good wine. YES, WINE. Don't worry, Mama! I am approaching my mid-30s and I am allowed to responsibly enjoy a glass or five of wine at a fine eating establishment from time to time. Plus, there is a Wiemer Vineyard somewhere back east, so I guess wine runs in my blood? Literally and figuratively.

*Challenging myself. Challenging myself matters because it's the only way I seem to grow. Figuratively. And I guess literally as well. And scientifically. Psych. Anyway, the challenges I give to myself may seem too small to matter, but they matter. For example, I have been challenging myself lately to deviate from my rigid routine and schedule. Sleep in a few extra minutes, Meg! Use a different kind of mustard on your sandwich! Maybe try going on a walk in a different direction, like backwards. Use the black rubber band for your hair, not the brown one. For whatever reason, these slight changes in my day allow me to see myself and the world in a different way -- especially if I am walking backwards.

*Iceland, Twitter, sunscreen, heart-to-heart conversations, handwritten letters (I WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU IF YOU WRITE ME AT LEAST A DECENT LETTER), the queer community, the Buddhist community, communities in general, general stores, honest hard work, sandwiches.

Well, looks like I spent up all of my energy typing. I cannot think of anything else to write right now, so this is all you get. This is all you ever get from me -- a bunch of letters that (WHICH?!) form words that form sentences that form paragraphs that form posts that form future forgotten memories. These words are a memory, these words will be forgotten, we will continue.