Thursday, June 2, 2016


I have had a semi-frustrating morning and I've only been awake for an hour. But I can turn this day around! This day can significantly improve! I just need to somehow get rid of all the road construction (that includes you, incessant jackhammer!), all of the Little League games, all of the children on razor scooters and skateboards (unless you are a hella rad skater), all of the children in general except for that incredibly precious 7-year-old child in a ballerina costume who said hello to me in the park yesterday. YOU, tender ballerina, can stay. Everyone else, though, must go. I need space, I need silence, I need solitude. The three Ss if you will. How would you write that? The three Esses. JK. There is no apostrophe, so don't even suggest S's. That's not right, goofballs. But S's would be a passable name for a passable nightclub in Vegas. S's. DJ Esses at Club S's ONE NIGHT ONLY. Now imagine some sick beats. Now imagine some Sugarfree Redbulls and Gray Goose. Now imagine an actual red bull and an actual gray goose. Imagine they become the best of friends in the South of France. Imagine them going on many adventures over the course of many books. Imagine that each adventure comes with a moral, a moral about the being slow and steady, about being fast and loopy, about being the best possible bull/goose that you can be. You are a bull. You are a-door-a-bull.

I have already forgotten about my frustrating morning! Summer be damned! Summer be damned forever! But soon I will be heading out into the world once again and all of these nails-on-the-chalkboard moments will inevitably happen, so what will I do to prepare? What can transform the nails into feathers? Feathers (preferably goose feathers) on a chalkboard sounds relaxing, not grating. Do they, the makers of chalkboards, even make chalkboards anymore? That's beside the point. The point is, I am the only one that has the power to change nails into feathers. The jackhammer can be music -- or it can simply be a jackhammer, neither good or bad. The Little League game can be just that -- a game. The children and their unpredictable contraptions with wheels, however, should be kept safely inside away from the world. Kidding. BUT ALSO NOT KIDDING. In other words, I don't have to go out into the world with a thousand shields. I can drop my resistance at anytime.

Vulnerability is scarier than trendy Vegas nightclubs, though. But at least vulnerability doesn't leave you with hearing loss and a hangover. Vulnerability does nothing but open up your life, your heart, and your world. And how can that be bad?

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