Saturday, November 9, 2013

these are the best, right?

So you may know that I am addicted to two things: Tumblr and PCP. Kidding, I am not addicted to PCP (yet), but I am hooked on Tumblr. I found this dumb/cool/pointless/full-of-points survey on that little tiny stupid site and was, like, "COPY/PASTE!" So now I am going to pretend like I am 14 and fill this out and believe that you are so excited to read this because who doesn't want to know about the last time I was hugged by someone of the opposite sex? This is worth reading. Ignore world news. Read this.

1. selfie

2. what would you name your future kids?
They will all be girls (cuz who wants to deal with penises) and they will all be named after my favorite characters in hip movies that will surely annoy some people who hate hipster and who the effity eff cares. Anyway, the names are: Clementine, Charlotte, and Margot. I also like Dorothy because she can be called "Dottie" for short.

3. do you miss anyone?
Everyone! Good lord who art in heaven, I miss every single person I've ever encountered. No, really. Also, I miss a few boys. YOU MIGHT BE ONE OF THEM. The thing is, I miss them in my warped mind, but then when I see them in person I'm, like, "Ohhhh... I remember why we didn't work out." That's harsh.

4. what are you looking forward to?
I am looking forward to sloooowing down and getting healthy (whatever that means). I am also looking forward to going to Disneyland (this may take some work). I am looking forward to Thanksgiving, truthfully. I am looking forward to when I will marry a super handsome black preacher and/or Tilda Swinton and have 3-4 girls with super hipster movie names. I am looking forward to when I can adopt a dog.

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?
YOUR MOM. And also my mom. And also people like Louis CK and Sarah Silverman and the writers at The Onion and Laura.

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?
Depends on the person, yo. It also depends on how many defense mechanisms I'm putting up.

7. what was your life like last year?
Confusing. I believe I was unemployed (strange how history repeats itself) and wandering and wondering. I may have been on the verge of a total meltdown, but when am I not? I was drinking a lot of coffee at Harmons and writing and reading and wearing beanies. That's about it.

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?
At this question? Yes.

9. who did you last see in person?
My mother! And right before that I saw every single obnoxious person at Smith's. Okay okay okay, so they aren't obnoxious. So they are all Buddhas and whatnot. But who says Buddha isn't obnoxious (aside from Buddha)? See.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?
You bet your fucking sweet motherfucking ass I am.

11. are you listening to music right now?
No. Should I? I should, huh. Uggggghhhhhh, just tell me what to do.

12. what is something you want right now?
I want someone to tell me what to do. I also want to be inspired, but currently my brain is fried and I think it might stay that way.

13. how do you feel right now?
Dull and restless, but that's just RIGHT now. Earlier I was so so so so great! So happy and hopeful and productive! See, that's the thing with everything ever: It's fluid. Don't worry. Don't grasp. Just go.

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?
This! THIS is the question you've all been waiting for!!!!!!!!! And I'm going to make you wait for it........ NO MORE!!! I guess the last person I side-hugged (because I rarely, for some reason, give a full body hug) was my papa this morning. The last person of the opposite sex that I awkwardly side-hugged who is not related to me was Michael at Juice 'n Java and then before him was Whit at Village Inn and then before him I had never come in contact with another human in my life. True story.

15. personality description
WELLLLLL, let's see hmmm okay well I like to have fun and I like fun things and I like to have fun with fun things and fun people in fun places. Also, I am the poster child for introvertism. It's a word. I have also perfected the art of avoidance. Some people find introverts who avoid everything and everyone fun, okay?!

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't?
These questions are frying my already fried brain, which I didn't think was possible, but totally is.

17. opinion on insecurities.
I'm too insecure to tell you my opinion.

18. do you miss how thing were a year ago?
No way, Jose.

19. have you ever been to New York?
No way, Jose. This answer would have been a "Yes way, Jose" if I had never gotten a tattoo in Austin on Halloween. Tattoos apparently equal NO NYC NEWSPAPER TRIP FOR YOU, LADY. Oh! I'm a lady wink wink.

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?
Oh, so you're British? That's fun. My favorite (ahem -- favourite) song (ahem -- soung) at the moment is probably "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" by The Band solely because it is 3:33 long and I am spiritually connected to the number "333."

21. age and birthday?
Forever 21 and I was born on the night when the lights went out in Georgia. Trust me on this one.

22. description of crush.
I can't give you a description because by the time I finish this sentence I will have discarded that crush and will have found a new one. He/she has probably been married before, though. I tend to get lured into that trap.

23. fear(s)
Just my li'l old self. I have also come to hate balloons.

24. height
5'6" and not a foot too soon. Wait. 5'6" closer to god. Wait. I'm 5'6". That's it. Nothing to it except DNA and diet.

25. role model
I'm sad that I'm just sitting here trying to think of one role model. Family members, duh, but aside from them... Sigh. I'll get back to you.

And I will also get back to you with the answers to 35 more questions. THIRTY-FIVE. Gross.

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