I feel like I've strayed far from where I used to be. Maybe that's okay. Maybe the "previous me" was too hung up on being peaceful all of the time. Maybe I fell into that "spiritual materialism" trap? Still, I feel disconnected and cynical and not even remotely interested in anything other than maintaining my isolation.
I am just bummed out all of the time. Even while sleeping I am bummed out... Not that I sleep much. That could be the biggest "problem"... Lack of sleep. Or it could be substance abuse. Or my eating disorder. Or my inability to connect with most people I meet.
There is an allure to disappearance, more so now than ever before.