Saturday, April 14, 2012

warrior, grumbly, (parentheses), and the lion

For you, Blogger, I have broken my caffeine fast. No! You know what? I am not gonna take another sip of this Rockstar. Seriously. I have felt awesome being off of caffeine, so what am I doing drinking this at 9 in the morning? I've had maybe half of it, so that's 60 or so milligrams of the lion (I guess I just called caffeine "the lion"? huh.), which is the equivalent of a Dr. Pepper or something, right? Or Mt. Piss Dew? :( :( :( Oh well, Meggie not gonna get down on herself for succumbing to the lion's temptations.

Here's why I am so Caucasian: I talk endlessly about quitting caffeine; I eat hummus so so so much; I have a blog; the name of my blog comes from a Bob Dylan song; I dream of moving to Vermont and having cats.

Here's why I want to drink more caffeine: I can't leave a can half full (hey! optimist!); I want to finish a couple of books and write a couple of letters; I'm addicted.

Here's why this post is bothering me: it is fuuuuull of grammatical errors. RIGHT?

I'm up to about 81mg now.


There is a zen saying that goes somethin' like this: 80% is perfect.

I'm trying.

I really am trying lately to be happier. I know I should just feel whatever it is that I feel (and believe me, I do), but I can also make a conscious effort to not fly off the handles (metaphorically and, well, literally) (not that I'm ever on a bike, sadly). I can make an effort to stay present, precise, peaceful. I can stop being a grumbly (grumbly! cute word) sourpuss to my family (sorry, family, it's not you, it's me) and start being a warrior. A warrior, you ask? I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but I urge you to read Chögyam Trungpa's book Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior in order to understand what I mean when I say "warrior." I mean, don't read it just for that reason (or do).

Oh goodness. So many parentheses.

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