Wednesday, January 21, 2009

to sprinkle or adorn with stars

I am so wired right now. Like the magazine Matt Wood used to (and still does???) subscribe to. So this entry may be long. It may be all over the place. It may be unreadable. It may include a survey or two (the boon of my existence, the bane of Chris'). I will TRY to make sure it does not include any typos. I will leave the fate of this post in the hands of the almighty Buddha.

The Beat Generation class that I am taking from Alex Caldiero has a weekly movie night where we watch a wide array of Beat-ish movies. Tonight we are watching The Wild One with Marlon Brando. We aren't watching the movie WITH Marlon Brando (because he is dead and probably wouldn't want to return from the dead to watch one of his movies with a bunch of snotty nosed college hoodlums), rather Marlon Brando is IN the movie. I am glad I clarified that for you guys. You are welcome. Anyway, I looked up the flick on IMDB (which is a dot com) and discovered to my delight and horror that the movie has quite the delightful and horrific taglines. Tag lines or taglines? Here are the tag(possible space)lines for The Wild One: "Marlon Brando! Driven Too Far By His Own Hot Blood!" and "That 'Streetcar' man has a new desire!" and "Hot feelings hit terrifying heights in a story that really boils over!" Good work, tag(I don't want to include a space)line creator! Beautiful. Beautiful like Matt Wood.

I am thinking of starting my book with the question, "Do you want to hear a funny story that I made up?" Maybe not. Scratch that. Perhaps I will start it with, "Questions that need answers. Girl that needs orgasm. Boy that needs immune system. World that needs a savior. God that needs a world. Two worlds collide: Form Mega World: Rules entire Solar System: The Solar System: More than meets the eye?: Yes. The answer to all of these questions (and more) is YES. An orgasmic, earth shattering, ball busting YES." Please don't steal this! It's mine! If you steal, I will sue. I was thinking of titling my autobiography, "Orem Meg: Waking Up When The Sun Don't Shine: One Girl's Mission To Save The World From Eternal Darkness: A Biblical Tale of Epic Proportions: Bob Dylan: Rain or Shine: Rain: More Than Just Water?: A Harrowing Look Inside The Halls of The White House: Kicking Iraq In The Balls: Cowboy Boots: More Than Just Shoes?: Shoes: The New ipod: Shoes and ipods: Are They REALLY Related?: Cousins: Quinn Allman's American Dream Come True: Technology: What The Hell Do They Know?: They: The Other Us." Again, I will sue if you steal.

Man. I am wiped out. Just like Matt Wood after a sex fueled coke binge. Matt, I joke! I joke all the time. It's just "my thing". It is to cover up emotional scars. Emotional scars, like genital warts, are something we all have. And THAT, my casual acquaintances, is the tagline for my bio pic. Biography picture with full frontal nudity, starring Matt Wood.

1 comment:

Matt Wood said...