Sunday, August 9, 2015

associate

Sunday mornings are terribly wonderful, yes yes. I am looking forward to the day when I can spend my Sunday morning on a lonely beach looking at sand and collecting sea glass. Do I have to be retired to do this? Fine by me. First I'll need a career from which to retire. And maybe some turquoise jewelry. And a shiny track suit. And then I'll be set! But for now I will spend my time wandering around tree-lined streets, avoiding people I kinda sorta know, and maybe stopping somewhere to get coffee and toast.

Avoiding people I kinda sorta know. Yes, that is something I do. That's something we all kinda sorta do, right? Like, "OH HEY! Wow, cool seeing you here! So what's up? I know, it's sooo hot/cold/windy/snowy/sunny/rainy outside, huh? Geeeeez." Looook. I'm not that opposed to seeing people I know. In fact, I'm at the point in my life where I'm so thirsty for social interaction that seeing someone in real life is miraculous. I forget how great it is to connect with another human! But when it's someone who expects me to be charming or funny or to suddenly fall madly in love with them during our interaction, I freeze. I can't handle those expectations. They drive me insane. Not that this happens often. And maybe I'm delusional and have a massive ego. MAYBE. Or maybe I'm kinda sorta right. My thoughts are everywhere right now. Let me try to clean this up: 1) I sincerely don't mind running into acquaintances, despite any initial awkwardness. 2) I DO mind running into people who have, in the past, claimed that I am "so unique" and "so different from other girls" and "quirky." I do not want to be your entertainment. 3) I like toast.

Very unrelated, but would anybody like some Vogue magazines? I have about a million of them that I am about to recycle. Speak up now or else go digging through the recycling bin later.

Maybe I would write more posts if I keep them shorter. Let's try it out! Or rather, let me try it out. Let me try out a lot of things, okay? Not that I need your permission. But if I did need your permission, I'd ask you to let me try out surfing, acting in a small town production of A Streetcar Named Desire, caviar, wearing glasses in the morning and at night and perhaps even in the afternoon, an asymmetrical haircut, and kale soda. No, no, scratch that last one. Only complete suckers would try kale soda. (I secretly think that it might be delicious, though.)

See ya later! We'll skip the small talk, though, please.

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