that seminary principal is in some serious shit. but this post has nothing to do with him. but please keep reading!

My Saturday, in words and holograms:

*Wake up at noon.
*Go to the Waters' garage sale and buy all of JARED'S Mormon novels about dancing.
*Get a full body massage by a man/boy/infant named Sam.
*Sam forgets to massage my right glute/ass cheek.
*Thanks for nothing, Sam.
*Go to DI, compete with JARED/"Jack" over books.
*Buy a couple of books, including a kick ass/glute Bob Dylan book.
*Go to Will's Pit Stop and buy coffee.
*Drink coffee too soon, burn tongue.
*Go into Borders and disguise coffee as Seattle's Best.
*Fool everyone.
*Read magazines about Vermont, New Mexico, and tattoos.
*Read 30 pages of Franny and Zooey. I have read it a few times before, but man oh man is it good.
*Realize Franny and Zooey is my favorite book, not Catcher in the Rye, although I still think Holden is a gentleman and a scholar.
*Go to my Mom's house and eat some shit. Not actual shit.
*Realize that I say the word "shit" about a million times more than I used to ever since I started dating JARED/"Jack Whatshisname."
*Write a blog post, contemplate my glutes.

LOVE YOU, SICKOS.