Tuesday, November 11, 2014


Einstein had it right, you know? Doug Einstein. I kid, I kid. I'm speaking of Albert. And I'm specifically thinking of his quote, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." (Note: I did a quick Google search for this quote and stumbled upon a lot of different versions of it, some of them turning it into something vastly different from the "this should be embroidered on a pillow" sweetness of the one we know so well. Interesting? Yes. But I shall not discuss the validity of the quote above or dissect what Einstein may or may not have meant. Just so you know. We'll leave all of that stuff up to Doug Einstein.)

But back to the quote. Or, if I were Queen Oprah, the "aha" quote. It's an aha quote because it gave me that aha moment and it also gave me a free car and a cup of chai tea. Once I realized I can pretty much choose how I view any given situation or event, I felt released from the prison of my conceptual mind. Put THAT in your Harpo Studios pipe and smoke it. Am I making sense? I'm probably not shedding new light on anything, but who cares. I could be writing a report on why hamsters are better pets than turtles, which is what the 5th graders are doing right now. Isn't that a dumb report? Like, screw that! Turtles are just as cool as hamsters, if not wildly cooler. Gimme a break, 5th grade.

So I am approaching life in this new way -- as a turtle. Okay, I kid, I kid yet again, yet again. I am waking up in the morning and making an effort to smile and vocally say, "Yeah!" Yeah yeah yeah, OMG how cheesy. But cheese can be good, especially if it lifts you out of a severe depression. Give me all the self-affirmations in the world, people! Give me all of the smiley face stickers and gold stars. And pats on the back and hip hip hoorays and three cheers for me. I'll take it all and see what happens. Throw it all in the pot.

Speaking of pot, should I work on a pot farm?

Speaking of farms, I will most likely work on an organic farm this spring/summer. I can't wait to harvest vegetables or animals or wine or whatever and then gather around a bonfire and play hacky sack with a guy named Zack or a join in on a drum circle with a group of dudes named Zack. Hopefully both!

Speaking of Zack, did you know that Einstein's real first name was Zack? Yeah, it's true. Zack Albert Douglas Einstein.

I am off to make some tofu scramble pantsless! Pantless or pantsless? I plan on listening to reggae music, mon, and shouting "yeah!" And I will smile and I will add way too much turmeric and I will be okay with it and I will feast.

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