Recovery is difficult. Each moment is a reminder that you have no idea what you are doing. I am not entirely sure how I keep moving forward, but I do, even though most days feel like a two-steps-forward-one-step-back kind of day. And if I am doing my math correctly, that is still a forward motion with just a little bit of frustration sprinkled on top. All of this being said, here are some things that bring me joy and comfort. This is a list to remind me of all the happy things when waves of doubt threaten to drown me. Swim! Swim! Breaststroke! Butterfly! Flotation device!
REI (yep! started this list off with a store!)
vegan cooking (because I refuse to debone anything)
meditation (as hard as it is to sit still for even 60 seconds)
long, directionless walks (as long as I don't have to pee)
heart-to-hearts with a sweetheart
early mornings (when they are quiet and spent slowly waking up)
being outside, no matter the weather
art, especially outsider art and art done by children
jam bands (there! I admitted it!)
gardens and greenhouses and soil and succulents
dancing like a complete maniac (just ask my mom)
running (as long as I run for the "right" reasons and not to punish myself)
weird small towns
dogs. oh dogs. all the dogs.
but not if they are in my sleeping bag
camping and hiking and backpacking and being
minerals and rocks and gems
gem backwards is meg
isn't that sweet?
Love you. Love me. Well, I'm learning to love me. I'm excited about this new romance.