life is like sliced bread: just kidding, it's not: the true story of sandwiches: what is true? what is false?: now a major motion picture

I know it is entirely too early to tell, but today feels much better than yesterday. It's not surprising, though, because like I said in my last post, every other day is good. One crazy-curmudgeon-sour-puss-everyone-is-stupid day followed by a oh-hello-there-seagull-eating-trash-in-the-park-parking-lot-aren't-you-a-beautiful-creature-my-lord-isn't-everyone-and-everything-glorious day.

I guess it's not this drastic all of the time, thank goodness. And maybe it would do me well to stop thinking that every other day will be shit -- that would put a huge dark cloud over my "off days" the second I wake up, which sucks, and it would also screw up my "on days" because I would be dreading what's to come.

Come on, Meg! You are into that Buddhist hippie mindfulness Eckhart Tolle crap, right? Right! So harness the power of now! Live in the now! Now is the time! Now you realize there IS no time! No time except for right now and also dinnertime. I love dinner so so so much. Just me and wasabi sandwiches (it's a thing, I promise) and television. I know, that's not a very "mindful" dinner, but... But I am still a beautiful creature, just like that seagull eating trash in a parking lot! Except I'm eating a bizarre Asian-American culinary creation on the couch.

Are sandwiches American? Does any country claim to be the birthplace of the almighty sandwich? Hold on a sec -- Okay, so apparently there is an Earl of Sandwich? John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich. He didn't invent sandwiches, but according to a totally legit website, the Earl made them popular. And I guess this all took place in England or whatever, but America and England are pretty much the same country, right? I mean, not right, but also right. Like, I am right and I am wrong. I am happy and I am sad. I am on and I am off. But today! Today I am on. Or rather, right NOW, in this moment, the only moment that has every existed, I am on, I am okay, I am proud that the gays can finally marry.

Yeah for gays! Yeah for seagulls! Yeah for earls and sandwiches and deep breaths and ice cubes I can chew and the days that I can choose to be whatever I want them to be. Isn't it a relief? Isn't it a relief to know that we are the puppet masters in our own lives? Yep. It definitely is.