bump

My hands are still cold from my morning walk. I am chewing ice while I type this, which might not make much sense, but I am chewing them with my teeth, not my fingers. That made sense, right? I am stuck in the predicament of having both nothing and everything to write about. Will you fix that last sentence for me? I know it ended in "about" and I know that's a no no, or at least I think it's a no no. I think about a lot of things I know nothing about. There I go again! About about about. Thank the Buddha above I don't say "aboot" like a damn Canadian. Like, what's that aboot?

I can tell you that I finished reading War and Peace yesterday. It was an experience. I do love Tolstoy with most of my heart. I appreciate that he made the chapters short. Pierre! Natasha! And the rest of you! I'll miss you all! I can tell you that I read a handful of books while I was reading the epic masterpiece. I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which annoyed me, and The Hours, which broke my heart in all the right ways. I can tell you that I've started reading The Golden Notebook. Apparently it is one of Mr. Barack's favorite books and so far I am enjoying it very much. I will now have something to discuss with the Prez if (WHEN) I get invited to a dinner at the White House. I bet Michelle's organic heirloom carrots are going to taste wonderful with those organic rosemary potatoes. Fist bumps all around.

I can tell you a lot of things. I am an open book! But not an actual book. I am a human. A human girl. I identify as a female, yes, but at the same time I often forget that I am a girl. I don't think that I am a boy, I just think I am a person, sexless and ready to go on some sweeping adventure with a cast of characters, such as wizards and elves and fairies and lords and witches and a tiny goblin or talking dog who acts as the comic relief and also wise sage. That tiny goblin/talking dog has a big role to play! So here I am in my own life, wearing a cape and carrying a sword for protection while I wander off into the woods to find something important. That something (spoiler alert!) ends up being myself. I find myself in the woods! And this Self is neither male or female, goblin or dog. This Self is a solid shadow, a sort of blank canvas with a conscious stream of... Of being? Of experience? Of thought? Maybe just a conscious stream of water. All streams lead to the ocean. The sequel to this popular series of Self adventures will take place on the ocean, naturally. On a pirate ship, of course. The Self was forced to walk the plank, unfortunately. Or rather, fortunately. Very fortunately. Once the Self has drowned, the real treasure can be found.

And that concludes my stream-of-consciousness post. I have to get ready to go work for minimum wage in a smelly elementary school cafeteria. No organic White House veggies are served there, but if I'm lucky I will get to fist bump some first graders. I might as well dream big.