Wednesday, October 15, 2014

horizon

On my morning walk around the park, I fell into a black hole and ended up in Tokyo. This is not true. But it IS true in another universe. In this universe, however, I did not fall. Instead I slightly tripped over the curb and almost stepped on a dead bird. The weather made up for these incidents, though. It was overcast, but not cold. Just crisp like a dead bird on a sidewalk in Tokyo. Crisp air, cloudy sky, and apparently the sprinklers in the park had been on all night because everything was moist. Ewww, sorry! I said moist! Everything was dewy. Uh, everything was... saturated. Aqueous. Damp. Slippery. Okay, wet. Everything was wet.

As I was aimlessly wandering around and trying to shake the bizarre dreams from my head that I seem to have on a nightly basis, I couldn't help but imagine I was in the Northwest. I imagine being in the Northwest more than is probably healthy because all it tends to do is make me crave crave crave and then suffer suffer suffer. But whatever. There's something so right about that environment for my soul. A rainy, light jacket day is basically a Xanax for me. Maybe I should chase after this groovy feeling? Maybe I should pack up my bags and hitchhike/drive my little white 2004 Ford Focus out to a place under the clouds and by the sea where I can be comfortably introverted and pale.

Then again, I am chronically suffering from a symptom known as The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side. And, technically, the grass IS greener in the Northwest. Or rather, the moss. I run away to places I imagine to be one way only to find out that they are not. I continually fall into these black holes in my mind, expecting to end up in a location my soul knows through and through. Instead I end up in foreign lands where I wander the streets looking for something to eat. I order what I think is a grilled cheese and end up with a dead bird on my plate. No, not a dead bird. A galaxy. I end up with a galaxy on my plate and soon I am eating everything, including the black hole which was my only way back to the place where I started.

Whoa. Mind blown.

And I have no clue where I'm going with this. I guess this is just another post where I talk vaguely about an unmet need, where I try to dig deeper into why I want something but instead I wander off into outer space and Asian markets. There are black holes everywhere, folks, and maybe the trick is to stop avoiding them, to stop apologizing for your curiosity, to stop viewing your falls as mistakes. Sometimes it takes a fall to finally see where your feet meet the sky. What's up and what's down? Ultimately that's up to you to decide.

1 comment:

Ship Clive said...

It's such a pleasure for me to come here and read your musings each morning. Thank you for sharing them. It's a comfort knowing there are others whose thoughts remind you of your own.