Thursday, September 26, 2013

sight

Sometimes I wonder if I need to cut off my own ear.

Let me explain.

Never mind. I don't even know what I mean, so how can I explain the unknown?

Exactly.

Sometimes I need to have faith in what I can't see. Is faith okay or is it weak? I have bad enough eyesight as it is. I say give me faith or give me prescription glasses! Give whatever you choose to me soon, though, because while I think I am walking on stable ground I may just end up falling over an unseen cliff.

I suppose it's up to me. You can't choose for me. I have to choose. I have to choose whether I want to squander my limited days being gloom gloom Meg or if I want to believe in something (someone?) that may very well be absolutely fictional, but lifesaving. There is strength in fiction. I'm a goddamn (pun?) writer for heaven's (pun?) sake. I worship fiction.

I worship fiction.

And so it shall be. I want to see with whatever eyes I choose to place inside my skull. I choose to be obedient to whatever voice speaks the loudest in my heart. The soul may simply be a map to a treasure that is too buried to be unearthed. If that is the case, I shall whisper loudly to each blade of grass.

Grace. We just want grace.

2 comments:

M. Olson said...

Yes, Grace, for sure...
A little Grace would be nice.

Lord knows people suffer enough in this life.

Meg said...

When you hear the drum of your heart beating, follow its call wherever that might go. You are brave enough to follow your own path.