dear diary from 20 february 2011

So. I'm a slacker. So. I'm trying (sometimes not very hard) to rid myself of demons - to get rid of the distractions. I have allowed myself for far too long to get caught up in weird little habits that take up time and valuable space in my brain. I could and should be using this space to explore space instead of being trapped in it like a mosquito in amber. Just glance up at the sky, Meghan - day or night - and just tell me what you see. But don't tell me in conventional language. So much of what we label "life" is astonishing and spacey and amusing and quiet and sonically loud. So much? No - all of it. But there I go again - labeling and telling. But that's okay, for right now. The more one talks about the Tao, the further away one gets from it, yet Lao-Tzu wrote an entire book about it - and that's what he had to do in that moment, I suppose. Language is not the enemy; it's just excruciatingly finite. The sky will introduce us to infinity.