Thursday, November 25, 2010

lava and diamonds

So which persona fits me the best? Hippie Meg? Buddha Meg? White Rapper Meg?

I joke. Sort of. I know how silly it is to "shop" for an identity. Sure, we all do it. We can't help but do it. But doesn't it seem that by now (you know, now that I'm past the age of 16) I would know "who I am"? And perhaps I do, way deep down there where the lava and diamonds flow. When I talk to others about my frequent and frustrating identity crises, I often get lectures and/or laughs. I know how ridiculous these dilemmas of mine seem to others. Hell, they are ridiculous to me. But they are also real. It is very difficult to explain because I am not quite sure what it is yet - I am just starting to figure this all out. And by "this" I mean "Borderline Personality Disorder." This particular disorder fits me like a nice lava and diamond (?) glove. Do not feel awkward or bad for me - I am actually somewhat elated. It is so refreshing to know that there is something out there that can explain why I feel/act certain ways. Oh no! I am attaching to another identity! Okay. Works for me right now.

Tomorrow: I will become Shopping Meg! Not. So not.

2 comments:

Meg said...

lol, I love you. And I think if we aren't in a constant identity crisis we are doing something wrong. Let your worries wash through you, stand witness to them but don't absorb them. They don't define you. You don't have to do anything, or be anything, or want anything. You can just be you--and that's okay. It's all okay.

Chris Almond said...

just do things you enjoy doing, wear clothes you enjoy wearing, read books you enjoy reading etc etc and a persona perfectly suited to you will naturally emerge. It probably won't be 'rapper meg' or 'buddha meg' or 'hippie meg' but it will probably involve those elements to create 'real meg' or 'meg meg'