'hood

Hello, 10:00. You should be 11:00. Daylight savings, you sneaky bastard.

Do you ever wonder what the exact moment was when you departed childhood and entered adulthood? Maybe you have already figured it out. Maybe you can pinpoint that moment, but I sure can't. When did I become 26? When did I stop being "girl" and start being "ma'am"? When did I suddenly start worrying about all different kinds of insurance, the job market, retirement, social security, assets, cholesterol, vitamins, supplements, marriage, taxes, and so on and so on and... so I miss being small. I miss being consumed by daydreams of what I will become; instead I feel anxiety of what I did not become.

I believe that this clinging to childhood has caused many complications in my adult life. It has confused me. I do not take responsibility for many things, I desire shelter from many things, and I deny myself of anything that will signal growth.

Okay, I am probably being a bit dramatic. Most days I am fine with adulthood and all it requires. Most days I am not this reflective about the loss of childhood. But today I am. Today I mourn.