embellish

I want to wear fancy hats and wander around cobblestone alleys with an open wine bottle and a sweetheart on my arm. I do! I just do. But hats make my brain feel suffocated and I can't think. I suppose the wine would also contribute to the brain fuzz. Yes, "brain fuzz." Define it for yourself.

I wear red lipstick to make myself feel better. By "better" I mean more like myself. So wait -- I consider feeling like myself to be a good thing? Does this mean I actually do like myself? At times. I like myself when I have Carnauba wax on my lips. You too? See, we have so much in common.

Hold on a sec, the heater just came on. I like to warm my frozen toes over it while I close my eyes and imagine I am a poor child working in a London factor back at the turn of the 20th century.

Do I stay in my head too much? In one word, yes. In two words, you bet. In three words, yes I do. In four words, you bet I do. In five words, you bet your ass I do. Six. That adds up to six words, unless you don't count "ass" as a word. But why wouldn't you count it? It's in the Bible. Everything in the Bible counts, even this flask.

Okay, my frozen toes are sufficiently dethawed. Unthawed? Defrosted. At least I do not have to defrost my toes overnight in the fridge. This would be highly inconvenient because as it turns out, my bed is nowhere near the refrigerator.

Time to make some tea. I am feeling just slightly loopy this morning. I believe I will add a healthy dose of cold medicine to my morning tea in order to balance things out a bit. But maybe all my nerves really need is some Revelon Fire & Ice. I'll just make sure to wipe the stains off the teacup when I'm done with my Early Grey.

Oh yeah, and go celebrate some presidents today or whatever. Pay your respect to Mr. William Henry Harrison for god's sake. Love you.