I think there's a rave going on upstairs. And by "upstairs" I mean "in my mind." That is not true. There is no rave in my mind today. My mind is not poppin' molly and suckin' on binkies. No, my mind is a deflated tire. I spent a good chunk of the morning and afternoon in IKEA. And then in a hot hot hot storage unit. And then at a totally normal temperature grocery store. Stores and storage: The true story of my Tuesday.
So I'm tired! That was my point. Tired and a little... hmmm. Lonely? Lonely not so much. No idea what my identity is? Yeah, that's more like it. I love how beautiful it is up here. My walks have been fantastic! I just feel a little isolated and unsure of where to go and what to do. Well, Meg, be creative! Okay, but with what energy? Maybe I need to give myself a week or two to settle in, establish routines, etc. I also need to make an effort. I need to make sure I don't find excuses to isolate myself. Social interaction is desired, to be honest. I just need to relearn balance and not spreading myself too thin.
I miss running. I'll be honest, taking two days off from running has been hard. I miss the natural high, the break in the day, the time to be alone with my thoughts, the sense of accomplishment, etc. But, if you didn't already know, I HAD A GROIN INJURY. I had to allow myself time to heal. And I'm glad that I did. Still, running has been a security blanket. And it, along with most of my other security blankets, has vanished when I needed it the most.
That was quite dramatic! I am overall super pumped and feel like this change, despite how gosh damn difficult it was, was necessary. I don't really know what I'm doing or who I am or where I'm going, but for once... I'm okay with it. My biggest challenge now is to continue. Continue continue continue. And trust. I have to trust in the Universe or whatever/whomever as well as, and perhaps most importantly, myself. MEEEEG. Meg. You got this. And I love you.