I feel trapped where I am. Yes, we all know by now that I feel trapped emotionally, so I need not go into great detail there. I am thinking more about the physical. I feel disconnected from the land in every single way. I am inside all day at work and then I come "home" (I haven't had a home since I was little, so that is why I use quotations) to what is essentially, to me, a closet. I cannot see the mountains or the moon. The sun fails to filter through my window. Smog has replaced the sage.
There is mud and rock and sand out there that misses my touch. Is that very egotistical of me to say? Except there is no ego when it comes to the earth. The earth strips me of "me." The earth reminds the mass that I have labeled "me" that "I" am both insignificant and vitally important. I need to be reminded of this soon. I am desperate.
So maybe I'll pack up and leave. Or maybe I'll skip the packing part and just leave. I'm a romantic, and metamorphic rocks simply melt my heart.