I am deeply appreciative of the comments and concern I received from my last post. I do not want anyone to think that I disregarded what they said; I just don't quite know how to respond.
I want to get help, but with limited income I do not know where to turn. I don't want to put all of that emotional baggage on any of my family members/friends. That's what therapists are for, right? Maybe one of you can hurry and become a licensed psychologist and then give me your service for a very discounted price. "Give me your service"? More like GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. More like I WALKED IN THE GUTTER FOR AT LEAST 40 MINUTES TODAY, BUT HAD NO IDEA IT WAS EVEN THE GUTTER BECAUSE EVERYTHING WAS COVERED IN A BLANKET OF SNOW AND A SHEET OF ICE AND A TWIN BED OF DESPERATION. Wait.
But seriously, wait for me. I will come around. I am worth the wait, good things come to those who wait, a mind is a terrible thing to wait (?), the body is willing but the heart is waiting, waiting for the storm to pass while passed out in the gutter.