Monday, October 22, 2012

ribbons and potions and chinos (oh my)

Costco, you create the weirdest little potions and then sell them in weird little two ounce bottles and I'm not talking about weird little lysergic acid diethylamide; rather, I'm talking about 5-hour energy shots that aren't called "5-Hour Energy Shots" because apparently that's a brand and Russell Brand is dating WHO?!

Who or whom? Whom cares. Folks, the above paragraph is basically a parody of my writing. I know. Except there were no parenthetical statements! And that is a Meghan Classic. Is "Meghan Classic" a brand? Well, it will be. It will one day be a company that sells chinos and loafers and blue and white striped beach towels that you can take with you on your summer vacation to the Hamptons. Yes, order yours now through Oh yeah, and it will be a non-profit company. PSYCH. It will be all-for-profit. Prophets stand on the corner, not behind the pulpit.

Something is in the air. Summer was very strange and lonely and hot as hell. Fall and winter is going to be full of creation and invention and something else I can't mention because... Well, just because. I hate being vague! But I love it. I hate contradicting myself! But I love it. Keeps people guessing. I hate guesses, I love knowing. I hate knowing, I love un-learning. I actually do hate "-ing" words most of the time, although you'd never be able to guess. Why would you even try to guess in the first place? Here's a first place ribbon for being a guesser. There. Is that what you want? Some kind of ribbon?

Ribbon? But I hardly know him!