No part of me wants to intentionally hurt him. Okay, let's be honest - in any breakup there is at least a minuscule part that fantasizes about riding past your ex with a prince charming on the back of a white stallion or something. A sort of "ha! look at me now!" But in reality, not fantasy world, I don't want to hurt him. Unintentionally hurting someone, however, is inevitable.
He and I are so alike, be we aren't the same person. We are heading down different paths and towards different people, places, and things. We may not always "approve" of what the other is doing (or not doing). Perhaps we will even make mistakes, get turned around, and become temporarily lost. But again, mistakes are pretty much inevitable.
My point, if I even have one, is that he and I need to start doing what's best for ourselves. And if, for him, that means developing a friendly, chummy relationship with her, then that's his decision. And if, for me, that means stepping entirely out of my comfort zone (such as being in three bands), trying new things (like, ahem, being in three bands), taking trips to innerspace (no comment), then, well, these are my decisions.
Lately both of us have been fighting against each other's decisions. This type of fighting results in nothing constructive or positive. I do believe voicing concerns and opinions is fine and sometimes very productive and healthy, but he and I really need to watch our toes and make sure we do not step over into obsessive control.
I just wish he could understand this. I mean, really understand. But enough contemplation for now - I have band practice in less than an hour with some Village Inn pie on the side.