Tuesday, February 11, 2014

the great disappointer

What if I make my posts a mash-up of my funny, neurotic side and my floofy, sensual side? That way all bases are covered and all readers are pleased and GOSHDAMMIT, MEG! Enough with the people pleasing!

Actually, I've begun to please people a lot less as I've gotten older. I pretty much just disappoint them now. Meg Wiemer: People Disappointer. Disappointer? But I hardly know her! Anyway, with age comes confidence and also a huge lack of confidence due to a slowing metabolism and wrinkles and gray hairs. Screw it. I want the curves and the character and the crone-like mane. Give me all of those things plus confidence and I shall ride into my golden years on the back of a unicorn, which just so happens to be Scotland's official animal. No, really. It is.

And now for something floofy and sensual: I come to you with my hand, not my head.

Okay, back to my neuroticism. I start so many books, but I never ever ever finish them... UNTIL NOW. I have been knocking books outta the park, left and right and sideways and in some cases straight up into heaven. I've been knocking books into heaven! Hope you enjoy those books I'm tossing to you, Shirley Temple. Too soon? My genre of choice these days is Brit lit. Who knew? I always thought I despised those proper gentlemen and ladies. Not so! I love them so much that I am holding out hope that one day Stephen Hawking or Bill Nye or the Pope will build a time machine so I can travel back to the 19th century and find myself trapped in a loveless marriage. And I'll be wearing a bonnet!

I never quite know what to say at the end of posts, so instead of saying anything, I'll let Ms. Adrienne Rich do the talking.

"You must write, and read, as if your life depended on it."

It does, babe. It does.

No comments: