new year's drag

Aside from Arbor Day, New Year's Eve is my least favorite holiday. Pulling your chain(saw) about Arbor Day. Trees are so much cooler than humans. And maybe that's why I don't like NYE? Because of the humans? If I could just go to a damn NYE party surrounded by sugar maples and green ash drinking champagne out of recycled glasses, I would be content. I would converse with the leaves in the shade and perhaps even kiss the bark when the ball drops from the branches. But alas.

Fine fine fine, humans are not that bad. They aren't always that great, but the great ones give me hope for the rest. It makes sense that NYE isn't my favorite because of the whole "I'm an introvert and hate parties" thing. I think a lot of it has to do with the "I a professional at avoiding everything and I don't want to be reminded of all the shit that happened these past 12 months and be forced to make future-failed plans for the next 12 months" thing. Yeah, I think it's the latter. With the right amount of substances, I can stand any social situation. But reflect on the past and the future? No amount of Xanax will get me through that.

Soooooo... Maybe I have my unintended New Year's resolution? Maybe I should resolve to not make resolutions. Maybe I can stop tripping back into the past and stop tip toeing into the future and instead rest semi-comfortably in the usually uncomfortable present. And eventually with enough practice and gentle reminders, the present will just become the present without any adjectives. That sounds like a good commendable exceptional plan.