Sunday, June 10, 2012

cobras, nazis, russia, orem, anxiety

Meg's Life, Recently: A Look into the Recent Life of Meg: A Tale as Old as Time: Father Time: Is Time Really a Father?: A Look into Paternity Tests: Tests: Are they Racist?: Yes: A Look into a Positive Answer: Answers: Are There Even Any Questions? No.

Did I not capitalize those words correctly? I know a handful of you out there are correcting every little mistake I make and that's okay, if that's what you genuinely like to do. As for me? I like to drink a little Russian drink (wink wink) and listen to rap music when I am angry, which was last night. I was so angry at Orem's Summer Fest! Mostly I was just terrified. I live right next to the park that is home to the carnival and the fireworks and the booths and the strollers and the kids and the teens and the adults and the loud crowds crazy patriot saint angel of the heavenly cosmos hey! look at me, ma! i'm kerouac burn burn burn through the sky to explode into a fiery fuck why they fuck is "fiery" spelled so fucked up. Firey, people. FIREY.

But yeah. Summer Fest. What a bummer.

Thank the heavenly cosmos that Summer Fest is finished, though! I'm free to stop having panic attacks! I was trapped in panic for awhile, but now that the crowd has dispersed and my doctor has prescribed me Klonopin, I can reign king again! I'm actually a female, so I guess that would make me a queen. Ace in the hole! Queen up the sleeve. King cobra down the pants.

I'm sober.

Sometimes I think about how German I am and freak out because what if that means I would have been a Nazi had I lived in Germany during WWII? What if my ancestors are Nazis? I feel like there's a coldness to me and a mean streak in my blood and maybe I'm wrong and maybe I'm actually the next Dalai Lama (he said it could be a woman!) and who's to say someone like the Dalai Lama couldn't become a Nazi? We're all "imperfect" humans. And did I really just call the Dalai Lama a potential Nazi? I guess so. Am I going to get weird people reading my blog now? You know, those weirdos who google "Dalai Lama Nazi Summer Fest Cobra"? I guess I should have capitalized "google." Give me a brrrrreak!

I googled "hip hop clothing" last night because I thought I might want to go through another hip hop phase.

I probably won't go through another hip hop phase, but that doesn't mean I'm not about to say something ignorant and possibly racist and hey look I used double negatives. So here's what I wanted to say: Maybe I was a little bit drunk the other night and maybe I was a little bit logged into OkCupid (I was!) and okay, so maybe I did an advanced search for ONLY black and Hispanic men and maaaybe I was day(night?)dreaming of being in an interracial relationship because I am actually pretty attracted to black and Hispanic men.

That wasn't ignorant or racist. But that's not what I was going to say. But I don't want to say/write/type/act it out in a one-act play anymore.

Well, this has been strange.

No comments: