listen to the lyrics!!!

These two women have gotten me through every heartache, breakup, bad mood, and good mood that I have had over the past six years or so. I really love them so much. God and Buddha bless you, Jenny and Karen. You two are saints in the eyes of little old wa wa me.

YOUR FACE is a vanderslice

So a rabbi, a priest, and Meghan Wiemer walk into Velour... Okay, just Meghan Wiemer. Although a rabbi and/or a priest COULD have been there... Is Corey Fox a rabbi? I could see him being a rabbi, and by "rabbi" I obviously mean "teen heartthrob." Anyway, less about Corey and more about me going to Velour last night for the first time in months.

I was a bit nervous.

There's this little thing I have called "chronic social anxiety." I also have a bad allergic reaction to hipsters. (Okay okay okay, I know I can sometimes be classified as a "hipster," but... but... I don't really know how to defend myself. I guess I could just say that I am less of a hipster now and that I always delete American Apparel and Urban Outfitter emails without opening them up and that I like Dave Matthews Band and that sometimes I look through Eddie Bauer catalogs and think about how fun it would be to be wearing khaki shorts and sitting in a canoe.) The anxiety plus the allergies equal me never going to shows anymore unless I have a flask in my back pocket. BUUUT I took a chill pill last night (seriously, I took GABA, which is a supplement, which made me feel a little/a lot drowsy, which also made me feel a little intoxicated, which resulted in me getting a tattoo of Bea Arthur RIP on my shin, which may or may not be true) and put on my big girl panties and went to Velour with Jack to see John Vanderslice. And lo and behold, it was actually not that traumatic of an experience. The concert was good and I only ran into two people that I knew. I guess my days of knowing everyone at shows is (thankfully) over with. Everyone seems so young now. So young and so into themselves (aren't we all, though?). It was like a fashion show last night. Were people there for the music or to be seen? Probably for the music, but they also knew that they would be seen, so they tried quite hard to look different, but ended up looking the same. Ohhh and the indie dance. Yes, I saw the indie dance last night. Lanky boys in tight pants moving their legs and trying to look awkward. Success!

What was I trying to get at in this post? It is far too long to just say I went to a show at Velour last night... BORING. Maybe I was going to philosophize or declare my independence from the scene or tell you a secret about the boy from the band, but I did none of those things. And now I have to use the bathroom (like, really really really bad-- like, uh oh I might pee my pants bad-- like, I hope the Russian custodian isn't in the bathroom-- like, why do I keep typing instead of actually using the restroom?).

Oh yeah, I got a bloody nose last night. But it only lasted for roughly forty-five seconds. I am suspicious that it was just ketchup.

unemployment

Why have I not posted for so long? The simple one word answer to that is SUMMER. My typical summer day goes something like this...
*Wake up at 12pm
*eat Cheerios or yogurt or somethin'
*MAYBE go to the gym if I am ambitious and/or Jack lets me... :)
*do whatever
*do some more of whatever
*keep doin' whatevs
*drink an energy drink or a 24 ounce coffee at 9 or 10pm
*write in my notebook
*type up three poems
*oh yeah, Facebook throughout the day
*take a second to realize that Facebook is a verb
*try to remember what verbs are
*have an emotional breakdown (hopefully these are over, though)
*write some more
*read
*earplugs...
*and sleep with the bed bugs and the pokey puppy
Happy Summer '09, kids.

facebook and pizza and burritos and pretzels and pickles and coffee and vaseline intensive care lotion

Facebook is out of control! We are all trapped in the Facebook net! We are all dolphins in the Internet Ocean and have been welcomed to the Pacific that is Facebook. And soon we will be killed by fishermen catching tuna. And then they will package their tuna with a false seal that says "No Dolphins." Whatever, tuna fishermen. You totally killed us.

burritos and pizza

Remember those long blog entries I would occasionally write where I would just go on and on and on and on about who the hell knows what? Those were fun. Those were also written on stimulants. Now that I am not on any kind of stimulant and getting off of Wellbutrin, I feel sluggish and depressed and not able to do anything, such as write a blog post of any interest whatsoever. See ya!

see ya later, woodbury

Well well well... It's my last hour and twenty-one minutes of work. Sad. But it also hasn't sunk in yet. And it's not THAT big of a deal (oh, aside from the whole panic-I'm-unemployed part), but I have been at this museum for two and a half years. For twenty hours a week. So I have basically spent roughly 2400 hours of my life in this place. (Update: My bosses just said their goodbyes to me. Weird.) Even though this will be a strange adjustment, I am not going to let it get me down because why should I? There's nothing I can do about it, so I might as well just (drum roll...) LIVE IN THE PRESENT!!! I feel as though that phrase--"live in the present"--has become quite the cliche, but it's a TRUE and WISE cliche. And so I will. And I won't worry. And I will eat pizza.

for a blind man, this post will be rather worthless

I want to live here:

I want to go to school here:

I like this:

I am excited about this:

I think he's watching over me:

I am looking forward to going here:

Here's a pretty cool/hott picture of myself:

libraries??? do they have magazines there??? cuz, like, i am more of a magazine reader.

There are a few things that will always calm me down and make me happy, such as Neil Young's Harvest Moon, anything Buddhist, pumpkin patches, and smoking out of my crack pipe. Okay, the last one was just a joke. Not exactly a funny joke, but rather an edgy joke. You know, drugs. Anyway, another calming/happiness producing thing for me is going to the Orem Library on Sunday when it is closed. I love having a librarian for a mother, especially a librarian that works at such a kick ass rad library. These are the things that I picked up while at the library (after I ran around like crazy for a minute or two... Hey, when no one's in the library, why not take full advantage of it and act like a five-year-old?):
The Harry Smith Project: Anthology of American Folk Music
The Complete Poems by Anne Sexton
Turtle Island poems by Gary Snyder
American Primitive poems by Mary Oliver
The Beauty of Vermont (basically just a book of bea-u-ti-ful pictures of my future home)
Discarded books:
Authority and the Individual by Bertrand Russell
Freedom in Exile: The Autobiography of the Dalai Lama by some dude
Wherever You Go There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn
In My Own Way: An Autobiography by ALAN WATTS!!!
Those Amazing Leeches by some perv who put together a disgusting book about leeches full of disgusting pictures of leeches
I LOVE YOU GUYS. WILL YOU GUYS LEAVE ME A COMMENT??? I WILL RESPOND TO ANY COMMENT, I PROMISE! I JUST LOVE COMMENTS, I GUESS. AND I LOVE YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU. CONSIDER YOURSELF HUGGED.