thanks

I fully intended to write this yesterday, but other things came up (mostly in the form of muppets and mashed potatoes). So here we go - a post about thanks.

Hello, 2011. Remember me? I'm that girl on which you consistently played practical jokes. Was that correct grammar, 2011? Doesn't matter. What matters is that despite all of the wacky twists and turns and downright befuddling moments you threw my way, I am still, somehow, grateful for you and your bipolar nature.

You tossed me out into the world in January without the security of a relationship I had known for so long. I was broken hearted, yet there is wisdom in what's broken. In the words of my beloved meditation instructor and friend Susan Piver, "When you embrace what you now call sorrow, you will actually find an immeasurable authenticity and personal power, the kind you've been searching for all your life." I'm still searching, still learning to embrace, but at least I have begun this journey. And I began that journey in January. Thank you.

Speaking of love, February is dripping with it. Eww, gross sentence. "Dripping"? Anyway, Valentine's Day blah blah blah. I am grateful that I knew you and spent time with you during this, uh, drippy month. You taught me a lot about myself, which is what any relationship "should" do, right? We may have not been what each other was looking for exactly (whoever is?), but that's okay. You helped me get back on my feet. I hope I made some kind of positive difference in your life/drippy month as well.

Springtime was all like, "HEY! Don't forget your hipster roots!" I was thrown into the local music scene, a scene I thought I'd had enough of - apparently not. I joined and eventually quit three bands. Why I quit might be another post for another time, but there are no hard feelings about my time spent pretending to be a musician. I love the people I played with and I love the music and I even love (some of) the venues. Thank you to those who assisted me in my musical quest and had faith in me. I'm humbled.

Oh shit, summer. You sure were a mindfuck, weren't you? Yet for some damn reason, I'm really happy you happened. You are most definitely another post for another time, so for now I'll just repeat what I said above - We may have not been what each other was looking for exactly, but that's okay. That's okay. Thank you anyway.

September and October, you made sure I was never indoors. I almost lost who I was, but you were there to remind me over and over and over again. Thank you for the rare opportunity I had to be in your desert Eden twice.

So much more to write, but this is starting to feel like some bizarre acceptance speech. I really have an abundance of blessings. I am grateful for my family and friends, of course. They are patient, generous, and don't give up on me even when I'm horrendous. I made new friends this year that I am in love with and resurrected some old friendships that remind me of how delicate we are. I am grateful for my health, that I am able to do the things I want to do. My body is so precious and I'm starting to listen to its wisdom. I am grateful for words and the power they have to bring people together. I have love for you. I have love for myself. I am thankful.