Saturday, October 19, 2013

mush

Hey, everyone I know, I am purposely pushing you away because I am going to move soon and I don't want my heart to break every time I realize you are not close. So... I am sorry. The reason you never hear back from me is because you mean too much to me. Makes no/total sense.

I expend so much energy doing, well, everything, but specifically trying to make the people around me less pessimistic/cynical/sad. Maybe I should just say, "Screw it, you're on your own. I'm gonna spend this energy on myself instead."

Heartsick and homesick. Forever.

My writing has taken a nosedive. I don't know my own voice anymore. I feel like my writing is mushy, generic, and unsatisfying. My words contain no fiber! Psssh. Whatever. Here I am talking about fiber when it's a Saturday night. Let me live a little for once.



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