sight

Sometimes I wonder if I need to cut off my own ear.

Let me explain.

Never mind. I don't even know what I mean, so how can I explain the unknown?

Exactly.

Sometimes I need to have faith in what I can't see. Is faith okay or is it weak? I have bad enough eyesight as it is. I say give me faith or give me prescription glasses! Give whatever you choose to me soon, though, because while I think I am walking on stable ground I may just end up falling over an unseen cliff.

I suppose it's up to me. You can't choose for me. I have to choose. I have to choose whether I want to squander my limited days being gloom gloom Meg or if I want to believe in something (someone?) that may very well be absolutely fictional, but lifesaving. There is strength in fiction. I'm a goddamn (pun?) writer for heaven's (pun?) sake. I worship fiction.

I worship fiction.

And so it shall be. I want to see with whatever eyes I choose to place inside my skull. I choose to be obedient to whatever voice speaks the loudest in my heart. The soul may simply be a map to a treasure that is too buried to be unearthed. If that is the case, I shall whisper loudly to each blade of grass.

Grace. We just want grace.