stranger

A woman just smiled at me, a stranger, and I wonder who's the stranger? The woman or me? Would any of my neuroses be alleviated if I viewed myself as the stranger? Abandoning the self, detaching, a vital removal. I wish to embrace this woman. I wish to cradle her head and bless her for being so familiar.

My cravings have taken a strange turn. I want seaweed and ice and lately I've been drawn to rattlesnake meat. I withdraw from all so I can live out these fantasies within my room. My window leads to a brick wall. I am not satisfied.

A man just smiled at me, a stranger, and I'd like to keep it that way. He is a stranger eating salad who smiled at me and I feel violated. The woman -- I will fiercely protect. The man -- I will protect myself. Myself -- maybe I'm the real threat.

There is not much we will complete today; There is much to delete, but the pull to be full is enough to derail. Stories left to tell will fall halfway through while we wander around the backyard looking for a patch of dandelions to drown in.

The woman left and returned with not a salad, but fried chicken and strawberries and she's eating both with a fork and I love her nameless self so much that my nose itches.