leave me comments and i will give you forty-seven dollars

Warning: I am in one of those moods where I want to write a post about everything and nothing. Nothing in the sense that none of my everythings will mean anything. This post will not be linear in any way. It is guaranteed to be too long (that's what she said). It may also contain boring and potentially embarrassing material. It is also flammable. Yes, you heard correctly-- this post is flammable. Do not light your cigar while reading Her Fog and Pearls. Warning.

I just told a guy and a girl exiting the museum to "have a good day." But for some unexplainable reason, I said it in an Australian accent. What the fuck, right? (I apologize for the "fuck" word, Mama. But you are French, so you understand.)

I am so super good at British accents. Terrible at Australian accents.

Last semester I sat around and did nothing. I mean, I did all of my homework. I got good grades. I taught a few classes on the Pledge of Allegiance (which was disgusting). But man oh man it was boring. And kind of depressing. I sat in the same classroom for four hours each day with the same group of very Utah county girls way out in the Education Building. I didn't even feel like I was going to school. I missed out on a lot. And then I decided, "Hey, let's give English another shot." I also decided, "Hey, let's microwave a burrito." I microwaved a lot of burritos that semester. A girl gets hungry when she is lying to nine-year-olds about how totally awesome the Pledge is. So anyway, long story short, this semester back as an English major has probably been my best semester so far. And I think it has to do with me finally feeling at peace/comfortable with my academic decision, and also how involved I have been. Now I haven't been super crazy involved with anything and everything school related, but I am sure as hell being much more proactive than I have in the past. I am in clubs. I finally joined Phi Kappa Phi (the National Honor Society), which I have been invited to join multiple times, but just recently got common sense and realized, "Hey, maybe it would be a really good idea to actually join. Also, where's my burrito?" I want to write for the newspaper. I help out in student elections. I submit things to Touchstones. I actually read all (okay, most) of the assigned readings in my classes. I deserve a small pat on the back. And a burrito. (That last burrito reference was too much. Not funny. And not even true. That's why it wasn't funny-- because it wasn't true. I apologize.)

Okay, I think I will publish this post now. There's definitely more I could say, but it's time for me to write someone lovely a letter. I will put that letter in a bottle, but I will refrain from throwing it into the sea. Perhaps I will throw it into a bathtub instead.

Post Script: Here is a cool picture of a giant typewriter.